Pathetic Plays is an iCarly segment where the iCarly cast performs little, self-written plays that always have long titles. So far, it has been shown four times on the show. Pathetic Plays are also called Terrible Theater on iCarly.com. Except for "The Cowboy With A Mustache And The Idiot Farmgirl Who Thought The Mustache Was A Squirrel" and "The Englishman Who Was A Terrible Father To His Two Children Named Fluffley And Peeta."
All pathetic plays have been done only once.
The Prisoner Who Just Wanted Some Soup And The Man Who Refused To Give Him Some[]
Carly and Sam in "The Prisoner who Just Wanted Some Soup, and the Man who Refused to Give Him Some."
Shown in the episode iOwe You, although it wasn´t officially declared a "Pathetic Play", it could've been the inspiration to make further Pathetic Plays. Written by Sam as part of a class assignment, and given a D-Minus by her teacher, it was evidently designed to be reminiscent of plays that ended up on low-budget, high-quality television shows made during the "golden age of television," such as Studio One or Playhouse 90. Instead, it consisted of Sam and Carly wearing beaten fedoras and talking in masculine grovely voices repeatedly shouting "Just gimme some soup," and "I ain't gonna give you no soup."
The Cowboy With A Mustache And The Idiot Farmgirl Who Thought The Mustache Was A Squirrel[]
Mandy interrupts Carly and Sam in "The Cowboy With A Mustache And The Idiot Farmgirl Who Thought The Mustache Was A Squirrel."
Shown in iWant My Website Back and officially called an "original play". Carly plays a farmgirl who talks to a cowboy (Sam) about his mustache as if it was a pet squirrel.
In iWon't Cancel The Show, the play was continued; however this time, the play was performed by Carly and her brother, Spencer, because Sam was in juvie.
In iPsycho, they do another segment of the play. In this segment, the farmgirl thinks the cowboy´s chicken (played by Nora Dershlit's chicken Maurice) is a sports car.
The Englishman Who Was A Terrible Father To His Two Children Named Fuffley And Peeta[]
This Pathetic Play is seen multiple times in season 3. As the name says, it stars an Englishman (played by Gibby), who is a terrible father to his two children named Fuffley and Peeta (played by Sam and Freddie). Spencer also starred as Baby Lumpley in one of the Pathetic Plays.
The Vampire With A Gigantic Nose And The Hobo Who Thought The Vampire's Nose Was A Grapefruit[]
Shown in iQuit iCarly and written by Carly. A hobo (played by Carly) meets a vampire with a gigantic nose (played by Sam). The hobo thinks the vampire´s nose is a grapefruit and wants to trade his blood for a bite of it. It was never completed due to technical difficulties and Carly and Sam splitting up.
The Boy Who Was So Traumitized That He Could Only Speak By Jiggiling His Tummy, And The Police Detective Who Interviewed Him[]
This Pathetic Play can only be seen on iCarly.com. Gibby plays a boy who was terribly traumitized by what bears did to him. Sam is played by Andy McStien in this episode. Gibby asks them to sing him a song to ease his pain, and Spencer, as Boofus, sings "By The Light Of The Silvery Moon."
Four Hillbillies Who Have Dinner And Constantly Argue About Stuff That Doesn't Matter At All[]
Gibby playing PoPo in this pathetic Play.
There are two of these plays These Pathetic Plays can only be seen on iCarly.com. Four hillbillies sit at a table and argue about food, life, and butter. One hillbilly named Po-Po doesn't sit at the table but sits in a chair they call "The Stupid Chair."