User blog comment:TenCents/Bullying/@comment-3247345-20111012073155

I was bullyed 7th through 12th grade. I was quiet and only had a few friends and I guess that was enough reason for alot of people to bully me. It got so bad on the school bus that I walked a mile uphill to catch the city bus. It still beat the school bus. Bullying caused me alot of stress. I was so stressed about starting school in the summer between 10th and 11th grade that I couldn't enjoy the summer. Sometimes I would fake sick or ditch class to avoid bullying. Luckily for me, my mom would believe me when I faked sick as long as I didn't do anything to make it obvious I wasn't sick. She also didn't punish me for ditching class as long as I gave her a reason beside I didn't feel like going. If I told her I got into a fight with the teacher and walked out she wouldn't punish me. I went through 5 years of hell due to bullying. The worst of it occoured on the bus which led me to take the city bus like I said. There are ways to deal with bullying. I'll start with what not to do. First, don't listen to those "bully proofing" methods that teacher and cousolors teach unless I list such a technique here. If you follow what the teachers and counslors say and I don't say it here you will end up looking stupid and giving the bully another reason to bully you. Second, don't tell an adult. There's nothing they can or will do to help you and you will end up getting a reputation as a snitch. That's one more reason for them to bully you. Third, if you're being bullyed for the way you look, act, dress, or because you like something that is "uncool", DO NOT CHANGE. If you do the bullies will either deny you changed or find something else to bully you about. Fourth, do not physically fight the bully unless you are 100% sure you can not only win, but hurt them badly enougth so that they won't even think of retaliating. A physical confrontation carries the risk that they will want to get you back. If that happens, it will be worse than before. That's why I reccomend against physical fighting in almost all cases. In my case, I never fought a bully. It is very rare case when fighting is advised. Now that I've told you what not to do, I guess I should probably tell you what you should do. First, the best way not to get bullyed is to avoid the situation that might get you bullyed. For me that meant avoiding the school bus at all costs, even if I had to walk a mile to get home from school. In general don't stay at the school longer than absolutely nessecary. Head home ASAP. If there's something going on at school one day that might make the bullying much worse than normal, fake sick. Don't overuse this trick. Only use it when absolutely necessary. If you use it too much, your parents won't believe you when you really need to use the trick. I sometime ditched school. Only do this if you think the benefit of not getting bullyed that day outweighs the punishment from your parents and the school as well as the harm to your grades that will result. Obviously there are times when avoiding the situation simply is not an option. There are ways to deal with this. Ignoring the bully helps. By this I mean do not reply, and don't give any facial expressions or act in any way that would suggest that the bullying is affecting you. If the bully gets any sign at all that he/she is affecting you, there is no chance they'll stop. If you get enough practice ignoring it, eventually it will just become part of your day, and it will hurt less and less. Some bullys will stop if you do this. If they don't actually stop, it's pretty certain they at least won't do it as much. Another strategy is to stay by an adult when you can. While telling an adult won't help you, it's amazing how fast a bully will stop harassing you if an authority figure is close by. By close by, I mean they can actually see and hear what's going on.I found that as adult supervision went up, bullying went down. In class, the teacher being there pretty much means you won't get bullyed in class unless the bully finds a way to harass you without the teacher knowing. I've had class with a bully tons of times, and never once were they an issue in class. It's in the hallway or during my off that they became a problem. I found staying near the security guards helped alot. If I had the last period of the day off, I would just head home and avoid the problem all together. Another way to get bullyed less is strength in numbers. If you're with your friends, you will get bullyed less than if you're alone. Last thing to do, if you're feeling suicidal to bullying, tell an adult like a school counsolor. I know I said not to tell an adult, but if you're at the point where you're ready to kill yourself, you need immediate help from your parents or the school counsolor. While school counsolors suck at preventing bullying, they will intervene if you're suicidal. Also remember that if you kill yourself, the bully wins. Luckily I never got to that point. Middle and high school were hell for me because of bullying, but I got through it by following the strategies I listed above. These strategies will not end the bullying completely or make it totally painless, but they will enable you to get through school. The last thing I want to say is that if anyone on this wiki is being bullyed, just tough it out until the end of high school. College students won't bully you. They're more mature and have to focus on school and work to much to bother bullying. Because of what I went through, I'm a stronger person than I was entering middle school. I'm pretty much an expert at handling bullys because of all that. If anyone needs advice dealing with a bully, contact me.