User blog:DryYoshi/A Teenage Girl's Apocalypse - Part 8: Bumping Alcohol

Part 8
“So where exactly are we gonna go now?” Chop asks. Hammer turns to her. “Well, we have to go to the apartment, of course.” “Have you told Laquifa that at all? And are you just gonna leave the car behind? “Actually, no, I haven't. And the keys to the car were gone. I checked before we went on here.” “Well, that's odd. But shouldn't you tell Laquifa to go to the apartment? She's now just driving aimlessly. And she doesn't even look old enough to be driving.” “I'm sure wherever Laquifa and Synddia are taking us, it's fine. It's not like Alice and the others won't wait for us there. And where else would they even go?” “Yeah, I guess you're right. I bet they're taking us to a giant mansion. We should just enjoy this.” Right after saying those words, Chop flies into the air, banging her head against the float's ceiling, knocking her unconscious. “What the hell?!” Viccie shouts. “Sorry, we just went over a bump. Is everyone alright down there?” Laquifa shouts to the back of the float. “Chop got knocked unconscious.” Acne tells her. “Aye, that's not so good. Lay her flat on the floor, that way she will recover as fast as possible. Tilting her head will only cause damage.” Hammer lays Chop carefully on the floor, making sure her head isn't on something too hard. “She looks so peaceful.” Nora says. “Yeah. Sadly she got knocked out cold.” Viccie annoyingly says to her. “I know, but she just looks cute this way.” Nora says in reply. Hammer gently strokes Chop's cheek. “She really does.” she says. She continues to stroke her cheek. After a while, Acne gets bored. “Are you done? I'm bored as hell. Let's watch TV. Watcher! Transform, TV!” Her watch turns into a really old TV from the '50's. “Dammit, man, not that kind of TV! I want an High Definition TV, preferably a little small. Watcher, transform!” Like a Transformer it turns into the right TV. A remote appears out of thin air into Acne's hands. She presses the power button. The TV turns on and a laugh track is heard. On the screen a girl can be seen talking to her older brother about a sculpture. Standing next to her are her blonde best friend and her two guy friends. The older brother presses a button and the sculpture catches on fire. They call the fire department for what seems like the hundredth time. The sight of all this seems to alarm everyone. They all say something in the trend of “I know this show.” They all stare at each other, baffled by how big of a coincidence this is. After a long moment of silence, Holly is the one to speak first. “Well, I'm sure there's a good explanation for this. It's probably a really popular show.” “Then explain why we don't even know the name of it and never acknowledged this show before.” “I know what it's called.” Acne says. “Shake It Up. Right?” “Nah, I remember that having a cute redhead. Kinda like me.” Holly says. “Maybe Laquifa and Synddia know. Or we can ask Chop once she's conscious again. And if they don't know anything, we can still ask 'Team Green' later on.” Hammer thinks that's a pretty good plan. “Alright. We will do that. Right now, let's continue to watch TV.” Acne changes the channel to NBC. Community is on. “Ooh, the paintball episode. My favorite.”

***

“Finally! Goddamn, man.” Alice yells out. “Oh, good, you found the keys?” Pope asks her. “No. I finally got that zit popped.” “Zit po-- What the hell are you doing, we have to to find keys and objects and poop!” “We have to find poop? That's a little gross, don't you th--” “Why are you being such a dumbo?! Ha--- Have you been drinking? Are you drunk?!” “Nooo, maaaan. Mmmmmmm. Okay, maybe a little bit.” “Funny. That sounded more like you're on pot.” “Pot? What do you mean? Hahaha.” “I MEAN WEED, YOU DIP--- Look. Just come with me.” Alice stumbles all over, knocking over stools in the bar that they're in. She almost knocks over a bottle of scotch when Pope stops her. “Clearly, you can't walk properly.” “Really, how did you figure that one out?” “Shut up. I will just have to carry you.” “Wow, what a gentleman.” “Real funny. I liked it better when we were both drunk.” “Then why don't you grab a bo---” Alice starts before Pope interrupts Alice and pushes her onto a couch. “NO! We have to find those damn things in this damned hotel and get the hell outta here. Alcohol isn't gonna help us with that.” “Can't you just drink a little bit of be--” “I already said no, dammit! “Man, when did you become the responsible one?” “Probably ever since that night on Chop's birthday when be both ended up wasted acting like complete idiots. And apparently you liked that stuff, cause here you are, drinking and being drunk, while we work our butts off looking for those keys. And on top of that, Nina and Jaff, who love each other very much, can't even see each other. Literally. I could only imagine what that would be like.” “Oh, but you do know how it feels.” Pope looks confused. “What... do you mean?” “Hammer.” “What's with her?” “You love her. Loved, anyway.” “How? We just met her and only for like five minutes.” “You know her far longer than that. Her username was Samlovesham. You loved her. TaraBridgette shipped you guys hardcore. She was my wife. A long time before then, she was DryYoshi's wife.” “Username? Wife? WHAT?!” “All the others were users too. They thought it would last after 'it' ended. But the truth was that it didn't even last longer than a month. Everyone broke up as friends and went their separate ways. The crazy thing is that everyone apparently even got a new name and no one recognizes anyone. Maybe we have all been brainwashed somehow. Or this is some sick and twisted mind-game. I've said enough. Now you must die.” Pope looks in shock. “Wait, what?” “If you savor your life, run.” “Huh?” “Run.” “What? Why?” “RUN!” Pope suddenly sees anger in her eyes. She runs away from her and to the door as fast as she can. But she's too slow. Alice grabs Pope's arm, turns her around, and bites her neck.