User blog comment:NeveisCheese☼/Real life dramas???/@comment-2065647-20110225004616

Thank goodness for this blog! I hope you don't mind me unloading everything. I've been stressing so much lately :( First.. I'm a sophomore right now, and I'm really preoccupied w/ thinking about college. I'm working on getting my associates (2 yrs.) degree by the time I graduate, but that means taking 2 summer classes, and a night class junior & senior year. Plus I need to take about 4 AP classes in the regular year and I don't have enough room in my schedule to fit some classes that I really wanted. And all the financial aid stuff is killing me. I'm really nervous about it and I want to do everything I can to make my parents proud because I'm gonna be the first person in my family to even graduate high school. It's a lot of pressure. And that's just the school stuff.. I've got boy drama. One of my best friends is so... well. Let's just say guys like her. And sometimes I feel left out, because they're always giving her hugs, telling her how pretty she is.. and it's just breaking down every ounce of self confidence I have. Sometimes I have a hard time waking up, going to class, and seeming like I'm ok. All I want is a little attention, is that too much to ask for? Annnd.. if you're still reading this, I love you :) One last thing. I have jealousy issues. In jr. high, I've always auditioned for musicals and stuff and get the second lead.. the lesser girl part. While the same girl has gotten the lead every. single. time. She was popular, head cheerleader, teachers loved her, that kind of thing. Even when I feel like I was super confident, she'd get the part. When we did "Cinderella" over the summer, she got Cinderella and I got the Queen. Now, our drama teacher had a rule that if you got the lead in the summer musical, you couldn't get a lead in the main musical. When the main musical came up, I was excited and so ready to maybe, just maybe get a chance to shine. And what happens? *she* gets the part of Gertrude McFuzz (in Suessical the Musical) and *I* get the part of Mrs. Mayor. This was last year.. and I just cried my eyes out when that happened. Now it's both our first years of high school, in a new school. She's just a regular JV cheerleader now.. and last night I went to the school play, not knowing anything about it. And I saw her come out. As the lead. Her character had so many kissing/make-out parts and it reminded me of how I've never had my first kiss.. and it reminded me of how I wasn't good enough to beat her out in a part.. and now she's making way as the leading lady only in her first year of high school. It just makes me feel like nothing sometimes. I'm sorry if that was too much to put out here.. I feel like I can't talk to my friends or parents about it because of how much I am stressing. But I see you guys as part of a family. We've all gotten to know each other and I'm really happy about that :)