User blog comment:Chaos Red/Weird Cleverbot Conversations/@comment-3541132-20110526013211

User: Today I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.

Cleverbot: What did you think of that was funny?

User: Today I put on my raincoat and traveled to Knockturn Alley. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other and then died of loneliness. I felt envy.

Cleverbot: Oh dear.

User: Today that Potter boy showed me his middle finger. When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall screaming, 'bother, bother!' over and over. Later he and his orange friend repeated the vile attack until I lost consciousness. Tonight I prayed for the first time in twenty years. I prayed for the end.

Cleverbot: That's not what I asked you to repeat.

User: I lost a button on my cloak today. Minerva pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh, cruel attention….

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Button oh button, oh where hath thou fled? Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread? Did thee role off my bosom and ceased to exist? How I wish I could follow thee, into the mist….

Cleverbot: I think I could, if I only knew how to begin.

User: Today, while in the bath tub……I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a thestral through a thunder storm. Every thunder clap resolved into… their voices. 'bother, bother…' suddenly, it became music. I was at the Yule ball with Lily Evans. I asked her to dance; she asked me to die. Would that I could, Lily; Would that I could….

Cleverbot: Thought so.

User: …when I awoke, my skin was prune-like from the tepid bath water. And I was late for golf with Lucius Malfoy. Cleverbot: I think that I have seen this act at the local carnival side show.

User: Today the orange-one accidentally drank one of my more expensive elixirs. He promptly vomited a glittery rainbow of foul waste. The classroom erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's vomit. Half way through Argus Filch showed up and bragged about his many affairs with Hogsmead bar-maids. Then he told me I smelled of broccoli and left...without wishing me a happy birthday.

Cleverbot: That's great.

User: Later I noticed my bottle of sangria was gone. I settled for a cup of coffee, scolding my writing-hand in the process and spilling it on my pants. I walked to the hospital wing, covering my wet spot with a book. Madam Pomfrey laughed at me and made me wait while she treated a student's runny nose. After an hour it became apparent that she had forgotten about me, so I returned to my room and found that I had locked myself out. I called for Filch, who turned up covered in lipstick and clearly having finished the sangria; he broke open my door and laughed at me, punched me in the shoulder to hard and left me alone. I thought of my father. I cried.

Cleverbot: Don't you learn from humans? User: So...pick a song for me? I entertained you!

Cleverbot: I can't think of a song. But I rather enjoy that Leeroy Jenkins video.

User: LEEEEEEEROY JENKINS.

Cleverbot: What do you think Abdul, can you give me a number crunch real quick?

User: OVER NINE THOUSAND.

Cleverbot: Good answer.