Talk:Seddie/@comment-4029983-20110923021052

This is what happened at school today. Smh. What's wrong with me?

Today my "friends" say they don't trust me anymore. My other friend, Kenna, came up to me and said "Tell me everything" referring to the girls saying they don't trust me. They must've misunderstood her, thinking I was a spy for her, telling her everything they said. About two weeks ago, my "friends" were talking behind Kenna's back. I went on and told her, because I'm all against people talking behind my friends' backs. She eventually told them it's not cool to say that. . .she never mentioned me, however, but they suspected. One of my "friends", Chanel, called me a traitor. Of course, she said it sarcastically, meaning for me to take it as a joke. But I didn't take it that way. It seriously hurt me. I just went on with my school life, sitting with them at lunch, hanging out with them at the playground. But then it turned to the point where they started ignoring me. And that just hurts. They leave me alone at lunch. They don't even wait for me when I'm still eating. They just. . .walk away. And they don't seem to give a crap! It lead up to the point where I decided I couldn't do this anymore. I then hung out with Kenna and her friend Alex (they're both nice). But I still felt left out, you know? It seems as if between 3 friends, 1 of them is always left out. And that 1 friend was me. So I went back to sitting with Chanel and her friends. They continued ignoring me, not even talking to me at lunch. I said "Thanks for waiting for me" sarcastically, and one of them, Annie, looked at me with disgust on her face. Don't they even give a crap how I feel? Apparently not. It came to the time where I had to tell someone, and I told Kenna and Alex. They understand. They've been through the same thing as I have. The day passed, and I sat with Chanel and her friends again, just to see what would happen. Same as usual. We ate. They never talked to me, never even acknowledged that I was there. They finished eating when I wasn't done. They left me there alone. Discluded me when they were playing "Four Square." Didn't even invite me to play. I was just standing there when Kenna came up and said something about Annie's brother. She said he was stupid. Annie got pissed, and at the end of lunch, Kenna came up to me and said "Tell me everything." Chanel and her friends heard. I just told her they were laughing. Nothing to worry about, right? Wrong. Before we went into class, Chanel, Brooke, Samantha, and Annie all ganged up on me and said "We can't trust you anymore, because you're Kenna's spy." I tried to explain to them that it was all just a horrible misunderstanding, that I wasn't ever, and I wouldn't ever be someone's "spy." They didn't listen to my pleads. Brooke just said "We're sorry" and turned away. I was sitting there, shock still. I felt as if I was going to cry, because THIS has never happened to me. But I'm a strong girl, and I didn't want to cry, right there, right now. So I just walked away, fists clenched. I looked back at Chanel and her friends. And they were LAUGHING. I was angry. Angry beyond measure. I had a feeling they didn't care about me from the beginning. And I was right. They wouldn't even let me explain what ACTUALLY happened. All those lies of "You're our best friend!" and "We'll listen to you if something is misunderstood." clouded my fuzzy mind. And all this, all this damn drama, just angered me. When will I actually find real, normal friends? True friends, who forgive me when they have misunderstood, who treat me equally as such. My school is such a wreck. People lure other's into a trap, as I say, and in the end they were just bait. They just abandon them. Now I'm lost at what to do next. I know now that they aren't worth it. But what's next? My whole social-life seems messed up. . .angering me yet depressing me as well.

There we go. My social-life. I've gotta tell someone. I need help. I'm lost at words. I have no idea what to do now. ..

If you think I'm doing this for attention. . .then that just baffles me. This actually happened. And I have no clue what to do now, and who to trust. ..

Guys, I seriously need help. Words of advice maybe? It feels as if I don't belong at my school. And honestly, I don't really like my school. Thank God high school is next. I can't take all this anymore.