User blog:PurpleJerk/Disclaimers, cats and- no! I still don't own iCarly!

Hey, people!

I'm here for a while and I never posted a blog... So, I do it now. Happy? No? GO AWAY!

I'm addicted to Fanfiction.com - no biggie, but it got really serious now. I don't write stories, I just read them. Still understand what am I saying? Okay. So, I don't write fanfictions. I think up of disclaimers though -.- I feel like a weirdo (I'm not a weirdo and I said you to go away!)... And well, I thought I could do something with them. So, I'll put it here. Feel free to use it when you wake up at 4 A.M., your toothbrush starts to shout at you: "Hey man! Lift up your lazy butt and write a fanfic!" and you can't think up of a funny or clever disclaimer. You don't want your toothbrush to be mad at you, do you?

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I was trying to convince Dan Schneider that I will take care of iCarly and I succeeded! And then I woke up.

I just changed my name to Dan Schneider! Do I own iCarly now? WHAT?! NO? Then I want my name and money back!

Sure, I own iCarly and that's why I put the disclaimer here.

"I pulled a prank on Dan and he said I would be perfect for owning iCarly!" "Really?" "Yeah! And then we were flying with coakroaches and his unicorn gave me a ride." "Oh... You lucky!"

I heard that Apple owns iCarly now. My dad works in an Apple shop, does that mean that our family owns a part of iCarly? No? C'mon!

I own Facebook, Youtube, Microsoft and Nickelodeon (that includes iCarly). I own also... Oh wait, the nurse came to give me another shot. Don't worry about me, Harry Potter will come to save me.

I own nothing but my bedroom. *bedroom is set on fire* Oh well, now I own nothing. Happy?!

I wished iCarly last Christmas, but I ate all the cookies in our house and Santa got mad. He refused to give me iCarly and walked away... Maybe next year.

If Dan wants to get rid of iCarly, he knows where he finds me.

I don't care if iCarly is owned by Dan Schneider or Chuck Norris, I just know that it's not mine.

Nickelodeon has decided that I'm funnier than Dan Schneider and gave me iCarly. When we were about to sign the contract, Dan came and said a hilarious joke... and they gave him iCarly back.

I'd love to own iCarly, but I would have to work in Schneider's Bakery. Unfortunately, my last attempt to cook ended up with a fire, mad monkey and bananas on the walls in my kitchen.

I got iCarly last month, but I said I don't like the episode iSell Penny T's, Nickelodeon came, said: "Beggars can not look," stole MY iCarly and walked away. Easy come, easy go. (I don't own Bruno Mars and his Grenade either.)

"It's funny that you ask 'cause I own iCarly now. Here is a proof." "That's a handbill with a 20% sale for a cake." "Oh well, then iCarly ain't mine. And give me my handbill!"

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If you STILL think I'm not crazy... You must be an insane person, too. Feel free to write down your own disclaimers, then I won't feel alone. Who am I kidding? I'm not alone! I have my pink sheep, a unicorn, flying turtle and- I wanted to say I have the world's biggest meatball, but Sam ate it two seconds ago. Okay, whatever, just comment while I'll try to convince Sam to pay for my meatball (yeah, that will happen).