IKiss

iKiss is the 10th episode of the 2nd Season of iCarly.

Plot
In retaliation for putting a dead fish in his locker, Freddie handcuffs Sam to Gibby, and Sam vows revenge against him for this. Later, Carly and Sam return from seeing "The First Kiss" at the movies, a lame teen romantic comedy in the vein of She's All That. This leads to a discussion of when Carly, Sam, and Freddie had their first kisses, and became the catalyst for a sketch called "Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie." After Sam leaves Carly's apartment to buy food, she overhears Freddie make a confession to Carly that he has never had his first "real" kiss, disregarding his kiss with his former girlfriend Valerie from iWill Date Freddie, which was for half a second at school with a bunch of other kids hanging around. To get back at Freddie, Sam exposes his secret on iCarly.

The next day, Freddie is mocked at school about this by everyone from the youngest kids to some teachers, as he expects to be. Carly insists on dragging him to school despite his expectations until she sees the reaction of her peers. Before the school day ends, he starts not going to school, talking to anyone, or going to iCarly rehearsals. Carly makes Sam feel guilty about this, so a regretful Sam exposes the same secret about herself in their webshow, even going so far as to threaten the audience if they tease him again, and are considering teasing her. She goes and apologizes to Freddie. After her apology, both of them feel bummed about never having kissed anyone. They end up kissing each other, and promise not to tell anyone about it, not even Carly. Meanwhile, Spencer trains to be a famous Seattle Cobras football player but soon gives up.

Quotes
Carly: You handcuffed her to Gibby?!

Freddie: She put a dead fish in my locker!

Sam: Gibby's WAY worse then a dead fish!

Gibby: My mom thinks I'm awesome!

[Sam grabs Freddie by the collar]

Sam: I don't play to get even. [jerks Freddie towards her] Mama plays to win.

Gibby: [screams and runs away after being handcuffed to Sam for an extended period of time]

Carly: As if Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with!

Sam: Whatever. All I know is, now I can't stop thinking about potato salad! [gets up to leave] Does that little market across the street stay open late?

Carly: Yeah, till ten.

Sam: Does that skeevy guy still hang around out front?

Carly: Yep.

Sam: [grabs Freddie's baseball bat] I'll be back.

Carly: You are gonna start with building up some muscle.

Spencer: I have muscle.

Carly: Do you?

Spencer: Yes.

Carly: Then take off your shirt and jump up and down.

Spencer: I don't wanna.

Carly: Why not?

Spencer: 'Cause I'll jiggle.

[On iCarly, a fake movie trailer is being shown that the kids filmed]

Announcer: A comedy no one wants to see! Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie!

[Carly, as Kelly, falls off stool and screams]

Announcer: It's really bad!

Sam: [after Freddie shows himself to the audience] That was Freddie, who, last week, handcuffed me to a nerd. So, now, guess what?... [pause] Freddie's never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly's a witness. [pause] Okay, later. [walks away]

Carly: [running after Sam] Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life!

Freddie: [drops the camera he is holding.]

[on iCarly]

Carly: And now, what you've all been waiting for...

Sam: Carly and I are about to have our very first...

Carly and Sam: MEATBALL WAR!

Sam: With our slingshots...

Carly: And a hundred meatballs!

Sam: But um... before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly... I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone and... that was really personal and I shouldn't have said it on the show. And for all you people out there who's been teasing Freddie about it, lay off! Because I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either... including me. Yeah. That's right, I've never kissed anyone. So if you want to tease someone about it, tease me. Which is a really bad idea unless if you live near a hospital!

Freddie: I-- nah, it's stupid...

Sam: What?

Freddie: I'm not going to say it...

Sam: Tell me!

Freddie: Okay. I was just thinking--

Sam: That we should kiss?

Freddie: [looking down] You're going to break my arm now, right?

Sam: No.

Freddie: Well, should we? Just to get it over with?

Sam: [pause] Just to get it over with.

Freddie: Just to get it over with.

Sam: And you swear we go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?

Freddie: Oh, totally. And we never tell anyone.

Sam: Never. [pause] Well, lean.