User blog comment:PhantomForce/Most Ironic Line in iCarly History/@comment-4169456-20110825084413

Wow some of these stories are sad.

OK I do have one big secret that I don't really like to talk about and only my family and my good friends know about it. I didn't want to talk about it but after reading some of these I thought that maybe it will help some of you realize that you can change things for the better and its not the end of the world.

I was a cutter from middle school till I was 20. I have some very deep emotional issues and I get very depressed to where I literally do not want to do anything. When It gets really bad I don't want to eat, drink, shower, or talk to or be around anyone. I pretty much don't see the point and all I want to do is lie around and sleep. Also I dont get depressed for a reason Its just like a cloud comes over me and sucks everything out of me. This can last from a day to 5 days and people have to force me to just take care of myself. I live on my own now but If I don't call certain people like my cousin, brother, or best friend they will get worried and drive over here to check on me.

Anyway I started cutting because things would just get so bad that I would do it just to feel something. No one knew about it for years because I was very careful that no one found out. I went from wearing sleeveless shirt and wife beaters to wearing some kind of long sleeve shirt or hoodie at all times even when I played sports. I would lock my door when I got dressed or took a shower to the point of putting a chair against it just to be sure. We were forced to take showers for football and I wouldnt take one unless everyone was gone to the point of being late for rides home (I eventually told a good friend on the team and he would wait for me). Anyways I slipped up one time and my mom saw some fresh marks.

If I was watched closely before I was watched like a hawk after that and I wasnt allowed anything sharp after that (They stopped buying can drinks because I started taking apart the can and using it to cut) I mean I never did them super deep and never considered going past cutting and really hurting myself but no one believed that I wouldnt.

Anyway I haven't cut in over 6 years. Also I am no longer ashamed to wear short sleeved shirts and I kind of wear my marks with pride to show that I have overcome that point in my life. I mean I dont tell people I'm not close with the truth and usually say the were from getting caught in some barbwire. I mean while I'm not embarrassed to show them I just don't want people to judge me.

So yeah It might seem horrible or like you cant overcome something but with time and help you can. Also friends and family help out alot