Pathetic Plays

Pathetic Plays is an iCarly segment where the iCarly cast performs little, self - written plays that always have insanely long titles. So far, it has been shown four times on the show. Pathetic Plays are also called Terrible Theater on iCarly.com.

The Prisoner Who Just Wanted Some Soup And The Man Who Refused To Give Him Some
Shown in the episode IOwe You, although it wasn´t officially declared a "pathetic play" yet. Written by Sam as part of a class assignment, and given a D-Minus by her teacher, it was evidently designed to be reminiscent of plays that ended up on low-budget, high-quality television shows made during the "golden age of television," such as Studio One or Playhouse 90. Instead, it consisted of Sam and Carly wearing beaten fedoras and talking in masculine grovely voices repeatedly shouting "Just gimme some soup," and "I ain't gonna give you no soup."

The Cowboy With A Mustache And The Idiot Farmgirl Who Thought The Mustache Was A Squirrel
Shown in iWant My Website Back and officially called an "original play". Carly played a farmgirl who talked to a cowboy (Sam) about his mustache as if it was a pet squirrel.

The Englishman Who Was A Terrible Father To His Two Children Named Fuffley And Peeta
Shown in iSpeed Date. Gibby played a father who didn´t feed his children (played by Sam and Freddie) for days. In the end, he gave them pushpins to eat and made them floss his toes.

In a sequel only found on iCarly.com, in a video named More Terrible Theater, the Englishman returns. Gibby is again the Englishman, Freddie is again Peeta, and this time, Andy McStein plays Fuffley instead of Sam. Fuffley and Peeta ask their father for some food since they're so hungry. The Englishman refuses and continues eating his spicy tuna sushi, which he thinks is strawberries. When Fuffley and Peeta tell him he's eating spicy tuna, he accuses them of thinking that he's stupid that he doesn't know the difference between strawberries and spicy tuna, he flung them away (not remembering this).

Then, he saw his plate empty, and the Englishman yelled, "WHO TOOK MY STRAWBERRIES?!?". Fuffley and Peeta told him he threw them away, and the Englishman got angry that they said he flung his own "strawberries" away. He forces his children to tickle his feet, and the two children cry while doing so.

In another sequel on iCarly.com, Victoria Justice guest stars as a woman who makes out with the same terrible father while Fuffley and Peeta sit beside them on the couch, and Fuffley is stricken with Pen-u-Monia. In spite of the fact that Fuffley falls on the floor unconscious, the father insists that they dance with each other when his girlfriend tells him that she enjoys seeing children dance.

The Vampire With A Gigantic Nose And The Hobo Who Thought The Vampire´s Nose Was A Grapefruit
Shown in iQuit iCarly and written by Carly. A hobo (played by Carly) meets a vampire with a gigantic nose (played by Sam). The hobo thinks the vampire´s nose is a grapefruit and wants to trade his blood for a bite of it. It was never ended because of technical difficulties and Carly and Sam breaking up.

The Boy Who Was So Traumitized That He Could Only Speak By Jiggiling His Tummy, And The Police Detective Who Interviewed Him
This Pathetic Play can only be seen on iCarly.com. Gibby plays a boy who was so traumitized by what bears did to him. Sam is played by Andy Mcstien in this episode. Gibby asks them to sing him a song to ease his pain, and Spencer playing Boofus, sings By The Light Of The Silverey Moon.

Four Hillbillies Who Have Dinner And Constantly Argue About Stuff That Doesn't Matter At All
This Pathetic Play can only be seen on iCarly.com. Four hillbillies sit at a table and argue about food, life, and butter. One hillbilly named Po-Po dosen't sit at the table but sits in a chair they call "The Stupid Chair."

The Englishman Who Was A Terrible Father To His Two Children Named Fuffley And Peeta Segment 2
Victoria Justice guest stars in this segment. Fuffly has pnemonia and has no help from her father. Victoria is the englishman's wife and he is absorbed in her. She requests that Fuffly and Peeta dance together, but Fuffly has passed out.