User blog comment:EClare Fan/Seddie Story:)/@comment-2246006-20100919235900

You need to work on punctuation and grammar. Also, you shouldn't lump everything together in huge clumps. Use paragraphs to make your story look neater. Also,you need to make new lines for when others start talking. For example:

"Who do you like?"

I looked at her and said, "No one."