User:EpicFork/Story

Hank and Frank and the Laws of Gravity By TenCents

Hank tossed the tennis ball into the air. It came down. “It always does that,” he said. “Does what?” asked Frank. “Come back down,” Hank said. “Dude,” Frank groaned. “It’s a ball. Laws of gravity and whatnot. True chiz; balls always have to go down.” “But what if it went up and didn’t come back down?” Hank asked. Frank looked up. “There is no place on this earth where you can throw a ball up and it will never go down.” “What about China?” “Beg pardon?” “What if you threw a ball up in China?” “What does China have to do with this conversation?” “Everything!” Frank groaned. “Say, Frank?” asked Hank. “Yeah, Hank?” asked Frank. “Why are we named ‘Hank and Frank’?” asked Hank. “Comic relief,” Frank replied. “Because our names rhyme, it can lead to a lot of comic relief.” “Thanks, Frank,” said Hank. He paused. “What about space?” “Whaddaya mean, ‘what about space?’?” Frank asked. “If you threw a ball up in space, it would never come down.” “Well…” Frank said. “Technically, the ball can’t come down; when you’re in space, you’re falling, so when you throw the ball up, it’ll more or less get stuck to the ceiling because the fact that you’re falling means the ball can’t come down.” “Frank?” “Yeah?” “I don’t care.” Frank stared at Hank, bewildered, sighed, and pulled out a book. Hank looked up at the sky. “What if I threw the ball all the way up, beyond the atmosphere? Would it ever come down?” “No…” Frank said. “But that’s impossible. There’s nothing in the world that can launch a ball into the sky beyond the atmosphere.” Hank tossed the ball up in the air a few times. He rolled his shoulders, and threw the ball into the air. It didn’t come down. “Impressive,” Frank said, looking up. “Well, I’m gonna go open a can of something and eat it,” said Hank. “See you tomorrow.” Frank looked over at Hank, then looked up. There was a whizzing noise, and the ball hit him right on nose. You know, if Frank were named Rudolph, we could call him “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Human.” But that job’s gone to a reindeer named…um…err…I’ve forgotten.