User blog:Gottaloveseddie/Post ilove you

Sams POV Midnight. We pulled away from each other to the sound of his phone beeping. That's it. It's over. We're over.

It was becoming hard for me to keep the tears from overflowing, and Freddie noticed. "This doesn't have to be the end you know, like I said, she wasn't talking about us" he said whilst rubbing my cheek with his hand but I pulled away. "Yes it does, we're not right for each other I mean who were we trying to kid, this was never going to work. I should have never kissed you at the lock-in, it was a stupid mistake that I regret. I'm sorry-" but he cut me off "You have got to be kidding me! It wasn't a mistake, it was the best thing that ever happened to me! The mistake is what's happening now, us breaking up is the mistake! I love you and I know you love me too, you even said it yourself" he said grabbing onto my wrist

"Freddie, let me go before I do a double fist dance o-on..." I trailed of, remembering the last time I said that and what it resulted in. "Sam please stay with me, please" he said softly, his big brown eyes peering into mine.

You have no idea how much I want to say 'of course Freddie, I'll never leave you' but I couldn't because he deserves someone kind, gentle and... normal and that's not me. So I prepare to do something that will possibly be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.

I escape from his grasp and and walk outside the elevator then i turn around and to look deep into his eyes and shake my head, i force out a "Goodbye Freddie" in a soft voice before running out of the apartment.

I run home in the rain and up to my room, I slide down the wall and a single tear runs down my face and all I can do is mutter to myself "i love you Freddie... I really do"

The next day....

I woke to see that I was still on the floor, surrounded by tissues and sighed, so I guess it really did happen. that's when all the memories of the night before came flooding back to me and my heart stung.

I slowly eased myself of the floor and walked towards my cracked mirror in the far corner of the room. And I was not happy with what I saw. My hair was hideous, stuck out in all directions. I had big, red puffy eyes and my clothes were all creased. Why did Freddie ever date this? I was awful.

I quickly got ready for school, brushing my hair to look presentable and changed into a fresh pair of clothes, my 'church pants' penny t and skinny jeans.

Unfortunately no amount of make up could help my eyes from being saved to I had to grab my pair of sun glasses hurriedly and put them on whilst on my way out the door.

I arrived at school late as usual but took my time walking to class, thinking of how hard it would be to face Freddie. So to solve my problem I soon decided that I would just avoid him, it would be just too painful to see him today.

And I succeeded, I managed to dodge my locker where I knew he and Carly would be, by hiding in the library at lunch and not daring to go to the cafeteria.

But what I didn't realise was that I had biology last and you will never guess who I am sat to…. yep you guessed it, Fredward Benson, the big F. And yes, my life I practically just like the twilight movie, except id like to think that I am abit less boring than Bella.

I thought of just skipping the class like I usually would but I have been warned that if I missed any more lessons I wouldn't be able to graduate. And I know you wouldn't think it but graduation is important to me.

So when the time came I managed to suck up my courage and go into the classroom where Freddie was already in his seat. Oh how sometimes I hate my life.

I slowly and hesitantly walk over to my desk with my head down, trying to avoid look at anything but him, and slide into my seat.

"h-hey S-sam" he stutters, obviously nervous as scene as it's the first time we've seen each other since the break up.

I just quickly glance up at him and nod before looking back down at my knees.

Minutes passed, minutes that felt like hours, filled with awkwardness that I could practically feel in the air.

He must have felt it too because once again he tried to start a conversation.

"soooo…. how are you?" ok, how am I supposed to answer that? I mean I think its quite clear that I'm not ok, but I cant be bothered to state the obvious. So I just answer with a quick and simple lie.

I turn around fully to face him, seeing how concerned his face looks but I focus on his eyes, his big brown eyes, that are filled with… sadness? No, it cant be.

"I'm good" I reply faintly before tearing my gaze from his to the front of the classroom where Miss. Briggs was now starting the lesson. And for once in my life I'm actually that she turned up, know scary right?

The rest of the lesson went slowly but luckily he didn't try to speak to me again and I was ok with that, I think its good that we have some alone time right now.

When the bell went I sighed in relief, I had managed to get through the day without too much damage or so I thought. Whilst I was packing my back a piece of paper landed in front of me, I turned towards Freddie who gave me a serious look before making his way out the classroom.

I snatched the piece of paper of the table and quickly opened it to see his scruffy handwriting scribbled across it.

Meet me at your locker. We need to talk.

Oh crap.

Why oh why does this happen to me!

What the heck does he want? We need to talk, what's that supposed to mean? I thought we said everything we needed to last night, there isn't much else that needs to be established apart from the fact that WE are no longer.

I quickly pack up the rest of my stuff before heading out of the classroom and towards my locker. Yes, I am going but only because if I don't I'll look like a wimp and Sam Puckett is anything but a wimp!

I am just about to turn around the corner when I hear to voices.

"So dude, how does it feel to be free again?" I recognise that to be the voice of Mark from my maths class, he is such a little skunk bag, he's been out with an uncountable amount of girls and broke each one of their hearts.

"I guess its ok" said an all to familiar voice that makes me shiver to the bone. Freddie.

"Just ok? I mean I know you and Sam were together for quite a while and all but… c'mon get over it. I mean the kid isn't that special, she doesn't even act like a girl. Unlike that Carly, I mean have you seen her skirts? That's a girls for you"

Ouch, that hurt,. Does everyone have to compare me to Carly? I know I might be a little vicious and abrasive but I cant believe people actually thought of me as no being a girl.

But that's not what hurt the most, I was Freddie's answer that practically killed me.

"Yeh… i guess your right"

That's when I lost it, tears managed to escape my eyes as I turned on my heel and out of the school doors.

I thought he loved me but this whole time he was just thinking the same as everyone else, thinking of me as just the tomboy who followed Carly around.

I can be girly too,

I'll prove to him and everyone else that I am not just a nasty, tough kid but a real girl!

I harshly pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial a very familiar number.

"hello?"

"Hey Carly… i need your help"

Authors note: please comment and tell me what you think and if I should continue it.

Ps: this can also be found on fanfiction.net